I lost my beloved Anup Mama on the 2nd of February, 2020.
‘Anumama’ - as we used to fondly call him, was one of the kindest persons I have ever known. He had a big heart and he loved everyone unconditionally. I have never seen him bitter or unhappy about anything in life. When we were little, Mama used to visit us in Silpukhuri almost everyday. Quick visits just to see me and Dimpy and to buy us goodies. He spoilt us so much! Whenever he came we knew we will get new stuff. We would take a stroll in the neighbourhood and even the shops knew that they will be making a sale. This ritual continued throughout our childhood years.
Anumama was liked by all, he had very good people skills. Everyone knew him, and he knew everyone. I still remember going to North Guwahati to meet our Ranjula Mami for the first time. We were kids then. Everyone liked her instantly! I loved Mami’s hair and told Mama that he should definitely marry her, he was very happy with that comment and smiled coyly. We had so much fun at his wedding. I still remember every bit of it.
Anumama was very sad when he lost his mom (our Aita). He was very close to her and I think losing her left a permanent dent in his life. She used to take an active part in his business, and when she was gone he lost his greatest advisor. After her, his closest ally was my mom. Mom and Anumama were very good friends. They had so many funny stories from childhood that mom used to tell us. We would laugh and laugh. That friendship continued till the very end. If mom wanted something, Mama would attend to her in no time, no matter how busy he was. I don’t have a brother but it was really sweet to see such a beautiful relationship.
He cared for my Grandpa (Kaka) a lot. They were opposite personalities, and the dynamics were sometimes funny to watch. But they loved each other a lot. Kaka was always worried about him, and Mama was never able to understand why. I fondly remember all our family parties - Bihu, Durga Puja, Birthdays, Anniversaries etc etc.
Anumama loved to eat out. Every Bihu or Puja, he and my mom would be planning where to eat. We were a big family so it was a lot of fun. Our Aita was also the same, always game for a family party! Their celebratory nature was infectious. As kids, we loved it. Anumama also cooked very well. He would cook up a storm during our family parties, always smiling, always giving. He played a big role in both mine and Dimpy’s weddings. He helped mom a lot in all organisational activities. We will always be indebted to him for his immense help.
Anumama’s health started deteriorating around 2016-17. He lost lot of weight and became frail. But his spirit remained high. He spoke as if everything was perfect. When I saw him in 2017 I was very heart-broken, but I thought he would recover. He was still young and very positive. He was very excited to see my son Rey when we visited Guwahati in 2018. He was equally excited to see my niece Sara, and loved her a lot. I feel happy that we were able to show him the next generation. It’s a blessing!
Mama cooked for the last time during New Year’s Eve 2019. Mom says that he was so excited to cook for everyone, even though his health had given up. Such was his mental strength and deep love for his family.
They say that parents cannot see their children suffer for too long. As a parent I can attest to it. When I got the news about Mama’s death I cried and cried. It was early morning in London and my tears didn’t stop the whole day. I didn’t know what to do, whom to console. But I also felt that maybe our Aita took him away to free him from all the pain and suffering. And maybe they are together now talking about us, and reminiscing the good old days just like we do.
I will always miss you Anumama! You are a beautiful soul ~
